It's such a pain in the ass that people are always trying to penetrate the gay market. I appreciate that these guys have the balls to silence the mouths of naysayers, though. In fact, here is what I want on my coffin:
It would be me taking a shit. Below it, it would say, "This place is a dump!" or "I'm dead, and I am also the only one who gives shit!" I guess I just really want an image like that because at the funeral, I want peoples appetites to be ruined. The crying over the casket part is boring, but everyone secretly enjoys the appetizers at the house part. Except for the family. They order all this food and don't even eat a single cracker. The brilliance of my plan, though, is that everyones appetite will be ruined! They will still be nauseuous from an artist's rendereing of their deceased friend/aquaintance defecating. That means leftovers for my family, and they deserve the leftovers! They are the ones that will have ordered the food anyway. FUCK YOU if you are one of those people that shows up to a funeral afterparty (afterparty?) for the free food. You are sick. Don't you realize someone has died, and now you will sit there going, "Oh, these are bay scallops. I like bay scallops! I had a bad experience with sea scallops once, but bay scallops never dissapoint." You are a piece of shit is what you are.
Are sea scallops the big ones or the little ones?
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